Let’s talk about the holidays- if you are going through a divorce, the holidays can be an emotional time for you. Whether it’s your first year without your kids, or the 10th year without them, it’s difficult to face the holidays alone.
If it’s the first year you may be feeling isolated and alone. You might worry that your kids are going to miss you. Preparation is key.
Here are 10 tips for spending the holidays alone:
If you won’t have your kids with you, ask your family to alert other guests so you don’t have to answer over and over about where they are- or have your Aunt Alice say, “Aren’t you lucky to have a kid- free day!”
Bring your own car. If it gets too emotional for you, you can leave.
Have 3 friends on speed- dial; they will be your lifeline if you need support.
Set up a time to talk or text with your kids so they know you’re thinking of them while you are separate.
This is the 6th in a series of blogs on this topic.
This has been a tough blog for me to write. Every time I schedule time to write about “Parentification”, something comes up and I’m grateful for the distraction. I think it’s because the idea came from the realization that my siblings and I often play a “parenting role” with each other. It can be easier to rely on your sibling and not have to choose a parent for guidance. It wasn’t a question on my original survey so I revisited with some people to find out if they felt that they had taken on this role in their family.
In the Parenting class I teach, we talk about “Child Support” and we’re not talking about money. In this case, we’re cautioning parents against relying on their kids for emotional support. When kids see parents hurting, it’s a natural instinct to want to help. A child may cancel their weekend plans to stay home with a parent who is sad. Parents need to fi...