This is the 6th in a series of blogs on this topic.
This has been a tough blog for me to write. Every time I schedule time to write about “Parentification”, something comes up and I’m grateful for the distraction. I think it’s because the idea came from the realization that my siblings and I often play a “parenting role” with each other. It can be easier to rely on your sibling and not have to choose a parent for guidance. It wasn’t a question on my original survey so I revisited with some people to find out if they felt that they had taken on this role in their family.
In the Parenting class I teach, we talk about “Child Support” and we’re not talking about money. In this case, we’re cautioning parents against relying on their kids for emotional support. When kids see parents hurting, it’s a natural instinct to want to help. A child may cancel their weekend plans to stay home with a parent who is sad. Parents need to fi...
“The divorce was officially referred to in our house as "the war." If something was gone and missing it was "oh well, we lost it in the war." Amy
This is the fourth in a series of blogs on this topic
Children of divorce may feel like they have two separate identities. The child may behave or act a certain way depending on which parent he or she is with at the time. Given the freedom to make their own rules, parents are setting up their homes the way they wish to for the first time. They may create new rules about bed time, what to eat, what chores children do, etc. and this may vastly differ in each home. Children need to navigate their new landscape and understand what is expected of them in both of their homes. In this blog, I wanted to look at how adult children of divorce felt in regards to divided loyalty between their parents and whether they felt they had to take sides with one parent or another.
“It doesn't matter how old you are when parents divorce, in my opinion. It's always painful. It's a break, a rift, a severing of what was…” Lisa
This is the first in a series of blogs on this topic.
In Massachusetts, parents going through a divorce are required to take a parenting class. I’ve been teaching this class one to two times a month for the last year and I find that when I share with the participants that I’m a child of divorce, and have been for 45 years, they have a lot of questions for me. They want to know if their children are going to be okay, how long does it take to adjust, what can they do to make it work for their children, etc. These questions inspired me to ask questions of other adult children of divorce in the hope that parents getting divorced can learn from all of our experiences.
I had close to 50 respondents answer my questionnaire and they are different ages, from different backgrounds, live in all parts...
I was recently interviewed by an agency that I provide mediation services for and wanted to share it here.
Jody provides divorce mediation services in Newton, Framingham, Holliston, and Boston and she also serves as divorce and family mediator with MWI at the Norfolk Probate and Family Court in Canton, MA, where she handles mediations involving divorce, contempt, and modifications of parenting plans and child support.
Prior to working as a mediator, Jody worked in the Boston Jewish community for 24 years in numerous positions that inform her practice. She has experience as a facilitator for a variety of groups including a Self-esteem & Relationship Group, a Spiritual Reflection Group, and a Family Reunification Group. Jody is a court approved facilitator for the Parent Education courses and currently teaches for The Divorce Center and MWI. She is the creator of Honor Thy Children, Jewish Parenting through a...