This is the third in a series of blogs on this topic.
In my first blog of this series, I wrote about how parents told their children about the divorce (from the adult child's perspective) and how it felt to have divorced parents. In the second blog, I asked people what was the most difficult situation they faced as a result of their parents’ divorce. Today we look at the positive outcomes of divorce as felt by the adult children of divorce.
If couples are unhappy in a marriage, then perhaps the divorce can bring some positive to their lives and the lives of their children. The majority of people in my survey felt that some good had come out their parents' divorce. Four of the families got away from violent situations, five said there was less tension in their parents’ relationship with less fighting, and fourteen wrote about a parent finding new love, relationships, and/or marriage.
Jonathan said, “Maybe, by them getting a divorce,...
This is the second in a series of blogs on this topic.
In the first blog of this series, I wrote about how parents told their children about the divorce (from the adult child's perspective) and how it felt to have divorced parents.
As I mentioned, I am a teacher for the court-required parent education classes for divorcing or never-married parents. The goal of the class is not to teach people how to parent but how to co-parent with their ex-partner. I liken the relationship to one of a business relationship and stress the importance of respect in communication. Statistics show that 75% of children of divorce do fine, but the other 25% are directly affected by their parents’ level of conflict post-divorce. I remind people that if they disparage the child’s other parent, it’s as though they are taking a direct hit on their own child.
I asked people what was the most difficult situation they faced as a result of their parents’ divorc...
I was doing a role play at a Parenting class last night and one participant noted that I had asked my co-teacher to sit down before we started. During the role play, when he aggressively asked me why I was always late, it was less intimidating since we were in the same physical space, looking each other in the eye.
I’ve always been interested in power dynamics and think carefully about how the room should be set up when meeting with clients. Since I’m a “couch surfer”, renting or borrowing space, I’ve been known to move some furniture around. One office recently had 2 chairs for clients to sit in, one comfy low to the ground and one upright stiff chair. I borrowed a chair from another office so the clients would be in the same space.
Some mediators prefer to meet at a table so they have a physical structure between them and the clients. A table is also good if you have a lot of papers and need to spread out. Have you thought...